dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
