I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
