This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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