hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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