I love black thongs
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
