Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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