I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
