I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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