i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
