the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
