Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
