he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Life is so much better after having sex.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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