How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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