Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
