Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
