remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
