i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
