I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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