I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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