those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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