I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
