They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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