I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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