yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
