Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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