You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
