yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
