"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
