Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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