I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
