The maid of honor just puked.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
