so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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