Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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