I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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