Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
