I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I am mentally ready for anal.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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