Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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