can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
