so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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