You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
