I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
