i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
