The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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