You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
