i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
