I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
