I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
