Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
