My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
