What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
